i'm afraid

omg tomolo its monday again which means bec to college..
i dunno y i jus hate to go bec college??i jus hate to go bec there frm mon-thurs..
maybe i'm afraid tht i could not cope wit the subjects n could not get along wit my frens..i hate P.I.O simply because i dowan to be in the same group as the twins..its not because i hate them,but i feel like there's a pressure to be in the group..i felt lik i'm a loser as i do ntg in the group..i just hate the feeling..
the another thing i terrified most is bout the drama..till now,i din do anything{i mean i havent act out anything}..i'm afraid of criticsm!!i'm the 1 who insist to act miss ang's role but yet i cannot do it good!!seriously i dunno how to act miss ang n the dialogue is not clear enough..furthermore,everytime i stay bec for ntg..i do ntg!!i seems helpless in the drama!!how would ppl look at me??ppl will tink i'm useless!!

why the fuck m i so blur!!!

no matter where i go,there will ppl saying "why r u so blur???"
yeah!!!miss chew cher lynn...y r u so blur????y?y?y?
dahla stupid!blur pulak me!!
i really hate being blur n stupid!!yet i am stupid n blur,no matter in skool or at home...can any1 tell me is there any medicine to get rid of stupidity n blurness???because of my stupidity,i bring trouble to ppl..seriously i feel like i'm a pain in the ass to the ppl tht who know me...i'm so sorry!!!i feel really bad!!i guess u guys will wish tht u have never meet miss mcc{mong cha cha} lik me..SORRY!!!!dun forgive me being stupid yah!!i wonder when can i be a lil bit more smart in doing things???when i wont be tht fucking blur??
argh!!!what have i done wrong in the past life??why m i being torture lik tis??i am being a nuisance to my frens..i keep complaining bout myself to them till they get really fed up!!i told them i'm sad all the time n they have to say "plse be happy" all the time..i know i'm a pain the ass to u guys..c!!i am being blur again..i mentioned it alredi n now i'm talking about it again..ccl!!!what the fuck u wan in life??wake up n come bec to the reality!!u better buck up ah!!!


2day mangkuk is going to c the doc for consultation..i hope he's alright n nothing bad will happen..i mean i hope he wont have to go for operation for his leg..i am terribly worried!!though i know its nothing much to worry bout but i jus hope he will be fine!!

argh blur blur blur blur + stupid stupid me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

he's been treating me better these days...i'm really glad bout it!!
aft bec frm 1u,i felt so sleepy n i went to sleep..
when i wake up,i go online...saw mangkuk there!!!so i ask how's him??he told me its fucked up!!he said he bent his leg..hmm..i wonder how!!n i thought he was just kidding..cos he alw tot i'm an idiotic fool,maybe he wanna cheat me...so i make up sum jokes bout tht..but later he sounds serious n i ask if he's serious bout the pain he's suffering..he said yes!!so,i was getting worried n ask him loads of questions..i'm really curious to know what is up wit him..how come suddenly he can get injured??!!my gosh!!try imagine u mus put ur leg straight 24/7!!according to him,his leg cant even bend to 160degree...god!he can even duduk bersila lik what i'm doing now..dumb shit him for meeting the doc on fri instead of tomolo when he's now in pain..i asked if he drive to coll tomolo n he said yes..its pretty dangerous huh!!??but i hope he will be fine soon..
actually i'm terribly worry of his condition..he told me there's a growing{ketumbuhan} in his leg..omg!!if serious,then he might be goin for an operation..aww!!thts painful man!!hmmm..i guess it wud be nt tht worse ler..hopefully lar~~~

i woke up with full of hope...i thought evrything will be fine..college will definitely fun frm 2day onwards..
when i reach kbu{i mean reach my class-fc30},i saw ck,henry,johnson n soo in the class..ok well..i gt ntg to talk to them..or shall i say i dunno wht to talk..i know henry dun like me..he look down at me..i can feel it..i dun reli care as he meant ntg to me..however,u will still feel uneasy when sum1 dun like u..agree???stay bored in class for bout 45minutes cos many ppl havent arrive yet..
1st period is eng..as usual,we practise drama n i got nothing to so..till now we havent really practise football's play...it seems lik they concentrate more on "cindelala"'s play..the story is kinda cool n it will definitely be funny..but i guess there are sum ppl is too bossy n dun give much freedom to their actors n actresses..he seems like so demanding yet he do not act..i guess he think he's the greatest huh??i wont wanna mention his name here...but i jus dun like this kinda attitude..he's smart n brilliant tho..but..so what??
after b.comm class,we have our football play...huh!!!it dun go right at all...evry1 of us seems like not interested in the 2nd drama anymore...i wonder how cum it will be lik tht..we already change the script twice..n its still dun go right..ITS BORING!!i know i got no rights to comment as i dun give ideas n all..i just hope we can do our best n enjoy ourself..but...sum of them think its torturing to cum 4 drama practise including myself..why cant we enjoy ourself??the dramas need our commitment..without the commitment,its not going to success..
nowadays i felt so lifeless in coll..i felt like its wasting of time to go there..its tiring though..tht all nvm!!we go coll is to study..but the environment{for me only lar} dun work on me..as i alw say,fc30 is cool class to be in..hence we are like a big+happy family..but it seems like i'm isolated..i hate to admit this but it is true!!i dunno since when i became i hatred to evry1..can u guys just tell me whts my problem??i really need to know..i understand tht we can live without any1 in this world..but who want this kinda life??it make us{i mean me} become lifeless,stressful and meaningless in doing anything..
1 thing i'm happy with is....finally bongok din ignore me..he even tell evry1 i wrote a funny testi for him..its really impress me..har!!u might say i'm stupid though...perhaps i m!!wakakaka..i felt enjoyable chatting wit him even though we alw argue n crapping n scold each other...last time,i tot he hates me cos he alw ignore me when i'm talking bout sumthing,he will stare at me..when i talk bad bout him in front of him,he will jus act like he's frustrated bout it...n now finally i know he does care for me..{i mean as a fren la}..i made up a new msn account to chat wit him..i wanna know more bout him and understand him better..so,i created a personality as my x-bestfren who had a fight wit me...argh!!!sumthing lik tht la..i dunno how to put it into words..i will tell u i u wanna know..n he's really concern bout my friendship..how i wish thts in real life tht my bestfren chat wit him..huh!!i know its confusing huh??!!nvm!!
yeah about tis x-bestfren..i miss her lot..but she's no longer the person i knw!!last week,i saw her in the bus n we r not as close like las time anymore..its pretty sad!!i still rmbr we go tuition 2gether,shopping,wushu,driving n many more....but now we're in 2 different world..n the worst part is i'm not the cheerful n crazy cherlynn anymore..i'm an isolated,lame,lifeless n sad cherlynn....awww!!!
hope for the better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
******************************the end********************************************

you will never walk alone

can anyone plse tell me whats the meaning of "YOU WILL NEVER WALK ALONE"????
I'VE WALKING THROUGH THIS JOURNEY ALONE ALL THIS WHILE..i'm tired walking all alone by myself..
will u walk with me???

konon-ness bout world cup

lols!!lols!!!lols!!!
adeline plan to cum my hse to watch world cup together..this will be the 1st time of watching...2 dumb ass which know nothing bout football are planning to feel the syokness bout world cup..we din get to watch the opening..when i turn on the tv,it already show the match between germany n costa rica..it is such a silly experience..!!as we watch for about 30minutes,we became sleepy n we went to sleep..no!!we took sum pictures b4 we slept..we then woke up at 2 n chat till 4 n then sleep again..adel went bec at 7sumthing..n me continue sleeping till 1.30p.m.
huh!!i still can't stop thinking of the "pang sai kia"...wonder what i've owe him the previous life??
aww!!!i wanna watch cars!!stupid me....for not watching it though i'm in 1u ystdy...argh!!i tak puas!!how can this happen to me??lol!!
***hate pang sai kia***

i can't believe this

2 of my frens said he's not bad looking!!gosh!!r u guys sure??
my fren fat fat saw almost all of my classmate...
haha but her main point is to c MANGKUK{the guy tht i'm lurvin}..so we went to 1u for a movie..unfortunately the movie's tickets are selling fast..the next show will be 4.50..it will be too late..argh!!n i din c mangkuk!!kinda down!!fine!!we walk around in 1u..then suddenly i saw mangkuk at dream world..he was like shocked when he c me..he again ask RM9 frm me...bloody ass!!i know he dun mean it n he just wanna say sumthing to me i guess..lame!!whatsoever???!!i'm in love wit him..actually i care bout how he think of me??i really care though i alw scold him..but seriously i dun mean it..he makes me do so..why can't he talk to me a lil bit more polite??argh!!why must he call me mangkuk??i dun mind but he dun gimme the attention i wan frm him...i know i'm not sum1 special but i just wanna get closer wit him...but he treat like as if i'm his enemy..sad sad=(
gm wanted to c mangkuk's pict..so i showed him!!i thought she will kutuk sampai he dun worth a single cent...wakakkak wht m i talkin about???anywayz..she say for malay,he's not bad..when gm say not bad it means okla...but but???gm!!r u sure??did u c properly??ok thats not the main point!!when i like sum1,i dun c whether is he rich or handsome or whatever....i like him for what he is!!he doesnt like me,it doensnt matter but as i said many times...i just wanna get closer as a fren wit him...i dun wish to fight wit him all the time...seriously sumtimes i do feel tired of doing that..n i feel bad that i have to say sumthing bad bout this mangkuk!!this is not wht i want!!
i alw say i'm scared to like him because i know thats impossible for him to like me..n i alw fall for the wrong guy..this feeling is reli haunting me!!*no jokes*
i dun dare to say i'm serious this time but i hope i can take it easy!!
:::::thts all for now!!!!!:::::

screw me..

aww!!!!i don't wanna talk bout him anymore....but i'm getting hurt because of this f**ked up guy..he says {screw u!!mangkuk!!bongok!!}he says he wanna rape me as well...huh!!!as if i'm scared??!!bla!!i replied "come la if u dare"..i know i know i'm insane n my stupidity level has increase..increase by 50% which means its 100% rite now..*sweats*
this fucker ask me to pay bec his RM9 n i said monday la as i'm fucking broke this week..wonder where has my money gone???i din eat or buy much this week..oh yeah its those notes n books that i need to photocopy..man!!!this sem i spend almost RM200 on books..wht the hell??shit!!as if i will read them..oh yeah bec to the story...he say cannot!!must pay 2day or else i will rape u..so i answered him as i mention jus now la..huh!!c!!he's such a pervert guy!!he's sucks!!bloody shit guy!!!sorry i'm not trying to be rude or being mean but i just can't control my feelings..sorry sorry..he dont mean it yah..he's just kidding n me too..though i got feelings towards him but it dun mean i will willing to be rape by him..ok not gonna go in details bout tht..
i came bec frm college and was totally exhausted...plan to sleep but i din get a chance to do so..as usual,as i reach home,the 1st thing i wud do is switch on the pc..n then msn chat..after watching tv,wanted to eat dinner..when i open the rice cooker,i dun feel like eating..i was telling myself not to eat..i'm on diet...hence i din eat..
at nite,i went down chatting n 'lepakking' wit gm,john n tracy..i was so so so hunnnnnnngggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyyyy at tht time but i just tahan la...then i went bec at bout 11p.m.i eat sum biscuits n now i'm here online n writing blog..writing such boring blog..
guess what i wanna do now????i wanna whack ppl kau kau esp tht idiot..i'm still thinking hard 'why do i fall for him??'????????????????he's not my type at all..he got all the bad points i mentioned b4..the worse part is he alw ignore me..i guess he think that i'm such a nuisance..even that happens,i will non stop disturbing him until he feels fed up..perhaps i'm the 1 who got fed up wit him...actually i felt really frustrated wit his idiotic attitude..whenever i try to be nice,he will make me angry n i can't control myself to say pervert things to him..i felt strange..he only treat me this way but not other ppl..to other ppl,he looks so gud n kind...bleah~~the weirdo part is when i dun disturb him,he cum disturb me..but thts only for a while..ahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
huhhu....i felt so dizzy now..must be lotss of typing error n grammar mistakes...huh!!anywayz...gonna sleep now........................................zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....................................

plse tell me that i'm not in l*** with him

huuhu...am i in love wit him???but how,why,when n what makes me in love wit him??am i crazy??he's not a good guy to me at all..he got nothing special to me..we're not really close tho.but but.....i have sum feelings to him.i remembered once when he seems like don't want to talk to me,i felt so hmm....sad...bleah~~i know i know ITS LAME!!i seems annoying to him but i wud non stop disturbing him though he scolded me...i guess sumthing is wrong with me..i will always wanna see him or chat wit him..huh!!!i wanna become more closer to him.and i think he's not interested to chat wit me huh!!!he got many bad points which i can name..

-->always act stupid though he's bloody smart..nerd is best word to describe him as he alw ... ... ....
-->alw say me *** which i dun reli mind la
-->i tink he's such a small gas fella
-->he's kinda selfish i guess but sometimes he's helpful
-->he looks blur{huh!!same like me...hehe}
-->he's huh!!!just dont feel right to choose him as my crush ler......
-->i still longing for his attention-->is this one of his bad points?????wakkaka


hmm....2day i felt quite ok in class..not tht boring!!!not that left out
already..hope evryday will be better than this...erm is this a rite sentence??bleah..*sigh*2day i saw syamsul's tongue piercing..omg!!!though it's gross but i think its cool..i wish to have 1 then i don't need a tooth pick..lol!!that's what louie say..haha!!think of syamsul,it makes me wanna laugh..he's so so cute n he's so so shy...lol!!ok forget bout the cute guy..

adeline ffk me...ajak me go sp but end up she can't make it..huh!!!nvm la..i oso freaking tired today..and i'm so pk liao...*sigh*

wahhh my dearest bb cum online finally..i damn freaking miss her for the pass few weeks....aww!!!I MISS BB!!!!i got loads of stuff to pat wit her...but weird thing is i can't say it in msn{i mean i dunno how 2 explain}..i hope she can come out hang out wit me more often la..i dowan to lose my bb..i love her lots...i'm worry that we can no longer be that close anymore..i have too many frens who treat me like that..this make me freaking hurt!!i'd lost my 5years bestie n i dowan to lose any of my close frens anymore...i wanna keep in touch wit them..i need frens badly!!!i'm lonely..without frens,i can't survive...actually can la...but a human without frens,there's meaningless rite???hmm...in my opinion la...

oh shit i havent read a thing for econs presentation....i felt so bad!!!soo will screw me!!i really dowan to give him a impression that i'm useless or i'm a loser...i know he aim for perfect in studies..i hope i can be compatible with him for the presentation..*sweats*presention is still quite far away...its in august!!!aww!!!my birthday!!it remind me that i will have my exam on my b'day...sad~~

well well time to sleep!!!the time now is 12.45a.m.i've been sleeping late lately....*sweats*