my dearest grandma

i've been quite emo these days thinking of my grandma..
she's suffering frm cologne cancer recently...though she looks normal n healthy now,but who will understand the pain n sorrow deep inside???
i really cnt believe the fact tht it is already reaches 4th stage..doctors told us tht she'll survive depends on her strength.medicines n surgery is only to prolong.
i was extremely sad when i know tht my grandma{the one who look after me since i was born} had tis sickness..i rmbr sumwhere las month,i drive my mom to visit my grandma,i saw her looks so pale n so weak..my heart hurts,i almost cried but i din,cos if i do,she'll more pain..i know she dowan me to worry of her.when i was in the hospital for almost half an hour,she ask me to go home.she's worry tht i might trap in the jam as i'm still consider new in driving on the road n summore is so far away.but tht doesnt matter to me.i cnt do anything to repay wht she've done 4 me,besides showing her my care n love.though i hate driving,but i do it 4 her.maybe to other ppl,it dun seem a big deal,i know my grandma understands how i feel 4 her though i din show out.i'm not a person who can show my concern to ppl,but i really do care 4 evry2 surround me including my family members n frens.i do appreciate them,though they might forgot who m i...
i'm really afraid tht my grandma will leave us soon.i understand tht evry1 has to go through life n death.but nobody understand how i feel for my grandma.she's the 1 who raise me up when i was born,while my parents din even bother me till 7yrs old.i will nvr forget the time tht i've spent wit my grandma for the 7yrs.though it is a short period compare to the time i'm wit my parents,but i love my grandma more than my parents.of cos i love my parents also lar though at once i hate them 4 bringing me to the cruel world.n i was grown up in a broken family.my grandma taught me not to hate them though they might have done sumthing tht is NOT CORRECT!
i really hope tht miracle will happen n i pray tht all her children will show their love,concern n care to her.i hope they will not be selfish in paying the medical bills...plse do whtever u can to help her n let her be happy for the rest of her life.she's been sacrifice a lot for u guys{the children which means my mom,uncles n aunties}.i've no guts to tell u tis,but plse...GOD!can u help me to send tis message to them???make them wake up n do sumthing...!!!i'm unable to do anything besides praying for her welfare n happiness.