the feeling is getting deeper n deeper

i feel like i'm really in love wit him..though its only few days knowing him n i wont have chance to meet him tht often...i dunno y nowadays we seems like stranger in msn..we din chat like we did las time.no more nonsense n all..we're talkin bout all the lame n serious topic..

ystdy he were asking y m i upset???i din wanna tell him..takkan i tell him is b'cos of him mar...he kept persuade me to tell,say aft say out will feel better n he even say he wanna know badly...i'm so naive to believe him,of cos hoping tht he really care!bt think again...who m i to him???jus a fren's fren tht he know not long ago...jus a msn fren..jus a stranger tht passsed by his life??

actually i wanted to tell him bout sum of my problems,bt when i wanna tell,he seems lik so busy n all.i gotta admit tht it's quite late nite already.bt...when i ask him,y not sleeping yet..he said soon,yet he still there 4 bout half an hour.i'm waiting 4 his approach.i wan his attention badly,desperately...!!!bt,how to show my feelings to him???i'll scare him away!!i'm reli hurt!!seriously hurt!!i tink of him evry single minute.

ystdy he told my fren he's goin to yum cha..i was wondering y he can chat wit my fren,not me.i'm not jealous or wht,bt y din he approach me???wht have i done wrong???did i irritate him???am i bothering him???or maybe i'm yong sui to him???-nt pretty enuf or nt cool enuF!!!can any1 tell me???if he really hates me,i promise i wont bother him anymore.

i know its to early to say tht i love him,bt the feeling is getting deeper....i jus wanna talk to him like my heng dai!!!tht oso so difficult..haihz..

ystdy around 11 sumthing tracy bring me to ss2-murni...there were loads of ppl there.i keep looking for him,i din see him till when we found a place to sit.once i wanna sit,i saw him...gosh!!!i quickly switch place,my back facing him.i'm nt sure whether he see me not.i wanted to go n say hi,bt i dun have the courage to do so.n i'm afraid tht he'll be "huh!!!who r u???"...i can only c him tru side view..i really really wanna talk to him de leh...i wud use the word desperately..haihz....y m i like tht???y y y y y y y????????????????????????????????????????

~chercher~

replace by new 1

i finally let go my feelings to him{1}...i finally realise tht he's such a shiat!!!sorry to say tht!!!its not about his look or wht,but the attitude tht bother me a lot.i really cnt believe tht i can love a shiat guy 4 tis long...
*uhuh!!forget bout him{1}*

i found tht i fallen in love wit him{2}...he seems so chunted 4 me when the 1st time i saw him!!!maybe u can say i only look at his appearance...yeap!!i admit it!!he's seriously driving me crazy only by the look of his..i dunno~~in my opinion,he's the guy{i mean tis kinda look!} tht i'm looking for....he's totally different frm the previous guy tht i've blinded by...i gotta say tht he's damn yeng!!{to me lar...}*hahah*then,i take the opportunity to add him by using fake account..i jus wanna know wht kinda person is he b4 letting him know who m i...*lolz*after chatting wit him 4 more than 2 hours,i'm getting seriously in love wit him..i know i'm darn crazy!!i wud say he's the choice of the guy tht i look for..the way he talk...oh so freaking yeng,sweet,cool n all the chunted words u can find to describe him...at last,i told him about my true identity cos i dowan to cheat him..i wan him to know who is he reli chatting to..i tink it's important!!he forgive me...
we chat 4 few days already n i'm missing him like crazy evry single moment..gues i'm in love again!!!woo hoo!!!but i dare not put too much hope in it ler...though i hope tht tis time will work out!!
but..there's sumthing i'm vry disappointed in him is...his fren{my fren oso lar..}said tht he's a playboy...he got loads of gf!!!omg!!!m i falling for the wrong guy again???its not tht i wanna be 1 of his gf,but i jus hope tht i wont fall 4 a NOT-WORTH-LOVING GUY!!!i jus hope tht i'll be real close frens wit him...i wanna know more bout him n his true identity...hope tht i'll hav tht chance...
I MISS HIM SO MUCH!!!!

~chercher~

originally frm emily tee li wen's blog....dun sue me 4 PLAGIARISM yah!!!
it's a coincidence tht i saw the lollipop's PRICE which i get frm HIM..*LOLZ*
YEAP i'm so bored reading ppl's blog n suddenly saw "eeik!!thts the lollipop i get frm him wo.."RM5.50 FRM MEMORY LANE...he's nt tht kdk aft all..he bought 4 of tht 4 me,cas,gdah n lois.
okla thts all...
babai....
*lame post*

memorable valentine

valentine's day is nvr a special day to me...
bt tis yr,it is certainly a memorable n unforgettable valentine.tis valentine's is special is b'cos i realise i have such gud frens n i feel really happy to be wit them.they brighten up my life n bring laughter n joy to my life.

ok!let me story u bout tis valentine's story of mine....
henry n casyne+mel r planning to have tis random date 4 the valentine's...
casyne gt henry as partner,foon=mel,lois=ck,anne=johnson n me=ruz..when i gt to know him as my date,i reli dunno how to react.i dunno shall i be happy or sad...at last the answer is SAD!

ystdy 14th feb,finally its the random date party...we went to 1u n have lunch in chilli's...i knew tht HE wont turn up bt i stil hope tht he'll be there.when i reach there,i'm so so so disappointed...i din c him,still hoping tht he'll cum..maybe he's late or sumthing.then the saddest moment is when evry1 is opening their presents while me...=( tears almost roll down frm my eyes..its not b'cos i dun hav the presents,i'm sad but i feel lik i'm so left out.evry1 has a date bt i dun hav.bt,aft a while,i dun really feel sad b'cos my frens did not ignore me instead they reli care 4 me.i totally appreciate tht.i'm so touched when receive a flower frm henry.thanks henry!!!aft eating,we went to take sticker photo/photo sticker..weeee...lurve taking machine photo cos i'll only loook nice in pictures.*lolz*oh yeah b4 tht,on the way there melvyn gave me a valentine card.i'm really really happy to receive tht card.i've even tease mel's writing..{so evil me..bt i'm jus kidding}.deep inside my heart,i reli lurve it though the writing not so uhm..nice...thanks lotsss....i felt even more touched when CK told me tht mel wrote it frm his heart n not copy frm other sources.hehhe..so bad of me again to hav tis kinda thought to him.*blueks*
we had lots of fun taking machine photo...it's lik so challenging.{sorry dunno use wht word to describe the situation}...u'll understand if u're in the situation.the picts we took looks ok though we're lik so stress during the photo taking process.too bad henry cnt join us due to his busy-ness!aft takin pictures,cas n lois gave me a necklace...lurve it too.thanks ladies!!!i know u all r worry of me bt i wud say i'm seriously alright!!!its more than enough to have u ppl around n i'll surely cherish our frenship.it doesnt matter tht HE doesnt turn up,i feel much more comfortable without him.then,we went to yippeee cup yum cha...
though we all din do anything special on valentine's but i guess evry1 of us did enjoy ourselves...hope there will be more outing lik tis wit them...muakss to evrybody..thanks honey,casyne,melvyn,ck,foon n henry.i've oso change my perception of henry.i rmbr las time i hate him a lot b'cos of his ego-ness.bt,now i tink he's OK!i nvr tot tht we'll get along well too...cheers evry1!!!
love frm,
~chercher~

~15th feb~
tis morning i woke up at 8a.m. then brush up til 8.30...depart frm home to college..fu*k!!!jam all the way n i was so sleepy cos slept at 4a.m to finish english assignment.yet,i havent finish 1 of the mind map.tot will be late to class bt i was on time n found nice parking.reach class,do mind map...simply do during LSD lecture.haihz last minute work is lik tht geh..
well i'll cut off the craps...
aft class,we went to watch movie.there r me,lois,casyne,soo,johnson and ruz.we watched mr n mrs norbit.it was a damn funny movie.me n casyne laugh like mad in the cinema.here,i wanna thanks to cas 4 being so understanding.she's willing to switch place wit me so tht i wont have to sit wit bapuk{ruz}..she know tht i'll be uncomfortable..i'm glad tht i hav tis kinda fren who is so understanding.oh yeah!b4 the movie,we went to burger king 4 lunch..mel mel oso came join us 4 a while..aft movie,i ask cas shud i giv HIM the present???then,casyne said giv ler since bought alredi...then i gave it to him n he's lik dowan to accept then casyne said "WE SHARE TO BUY THE PRESENT" though its frm me only.i'm glad tht he finally accept it.
he thank for the present n he looks happy wit the present.i hope its true frm his heart.he said tht he like it n his 1st clothes...*lolz*i'm reali happy tht he like it though he dunno thts frm ME!!!hope he will reli appreciate it lar...

p/s: i love the way casyne laugh when she's reli hyper....
okla gtg ler....sleepy....~yawnz~

here r sum picts of wht i get on valentine's....


~lollipop frm ruz~

~flowers frm henry n card frm melvyn~

~meaningful card~

~necklace frm casyne n lois~

yam cha session

at last,i went yam cha oso.
wit theng n tracy + theng's bro.
at 1st we went "mapele"-sum mamak stall name in our sunway place....drank milo ice,then theng went bec to change.
then,the nex station,we go "chui chui sui" in SS2.
to me,the place is not bad as in the environment.there r loads of food n drinks too.nex time mus bring my both families there.real n fake 1!!hehe...
uhuh~i'm so outdated tht i din know there's so many hang out place.
consider myself lucky tis time,i can go out till late nite-now 2.35a.m.
if last time,b4 12,there will be several calls ringing barking me bec home.
of cos mom will nag me la when i get home.but tis time,she din say much lar.she jus say nex time cnt go out liao.haha but aft few months being "guai lui",i'll slip out again.
sumtimes go hanging out wit frens is gud.cos we can know each other's life n we wont lost contact.i've lost contact wit loads of frens.not only frens,but bestfren!!all i have now is only memories wit them.so,i'm jus hoping tht i wont lose any of my current close frens.tis including my college mates-casyne,lois,mel n other classmates + high school mates which r adel,stephy,tracy,seng n hmmp hmmp..who else??guess thts all the frens i have now.i mean the close 1 lar.

guess wht???i'm still not sleepy yet though b4 i went out,i felt restless!!perhaps my heart still beating hard.*lolz*y i say tis???thts b'cos jus now we went in theng's bro's car.he on the music so loudly tht makes our heart beat follow music.me n tracy were like heart attack + ah mun drive so fast.haha mmg can fight wit tracy lar.but,i tink still safer to be in ah mun's car rather than tracy ong!!nah tracy ong!!!now u know how ppl feel when in ur car lar when u're in ah mun's car.*evil grin=p*

not in the mood to "yam cha"

1st,i've promise tracy to go out wit her 2day since ystdy cnt make it 4 as i'm goin to SOGO wit my parents to do last minute CNY shopping.then i waited for her to call me,but no call frm her till nite.then,theng oso ask me to go yam cha...also promised her already cos ystdy she's not joining me for lunch.supposingly,i've already free myself for tonite's "yam cha".but,suddenly i dun feel lik going b'cos i'm not in the mood.i know i'm vry unreasonable n alw break promise.i dunno...i jus feel lik being alone now.i'm so moody n i'm vry vry hot now!!!maybe cos i had sum argument wit daddy jus now.i'm so pissed n feel bad at the same time.

the story goes like tis,dad was rushing for dinner n mom wan him to buy dinner for us.so,we went out to buy dinner.b4 tht,we went to take petrol.oh yeah i'm driving my car..then,daddy was so naggy at tht time n he keep rushing me.i got so pissed n show black face!n i crash at the side of the kiosk...then daddy keep scolding me n bla bla bla.....almost cried!!!i know its my fault.luckily my car is alright-without any dent or scratches or else my pocket money will be deduct 4 the repair.
aft buying dinner,dad talk politely to me.tht makes me even more guilty.thts my fault but he's lik persuading me instead of scolding me.

aft dropping dad outside to get his car,mom was nagging me...i remain silent though the fire is already got up to my head.argh~~then reach home,i keep eating.i dunno y nowadays i eat a lot n almost evry hour i get hungry.
i'm doing nothing at the moment.feeling vry hot n stuffy,i dun feel lik doing my work though i havent done my english assignment.too bad,i dun have air cond in my room.there's only air cond in my parent's room,but the table is so small 4 me to put my stuff n do work there.so i jus stoning in my room n watch tv.

n now,i'm still thinking whether to yam cha not.perhaps i shud go n hang out wit my frens but i dun feel lik talking at the moment.if i dun talk,they will be wondering wht happen n i'll spoil the atmosphere.furthermore,go out have to spend money.huhuh...i'm not trying to be kdk but i'm saving 4 sumthing else.oh well thts not the main reason.on the other hand,if i stay home,i'll do ntg n will be in the HOT mood-sweating all over.

let's go swimming!!!

it's been a long time i din go swimming...
1st b'cos my old swim suit is cacat-ed already.
2ndly b'cos no1 teman me to swim.las time seng use to teman me go swimming but he cnt go swimming due to sum reasons.
3rd b'cos i'm too lazy though the swim pool is jus downstairs my hse.

oh yeah i jus rmbr the las time i went swimming.thts in my HONEY{LOIS}'S hse..WIT MY CLOTHES ON N BEING DUMP INTO THE POOL!!!~sobz~
ahahhah...but i tink it's fun...wit mel n casyne duet singing sum songs,seeing foon drown in the pool,laughing around n fooling in the pool n seeing sum gay guys cramp..*lolz*i really missed those days we had fun in FC 30!
too bad there's no FC 30 now!!!
anyway life goes on...hope we'll have much more fun for the coming days...

weee....i hope can 55 shift to bdr utama,then i can invite my frens to cum my hse n SWIM together...


ooohhh there's sumting i tink its kinda interesting to me tht i shud blog...
*heeehehhe*
casyne n lois had tis idea for our so called family outing...
they plan to go on tour around KL in a tourist bus.they claim tht there's a free bus in sumwhere KL which go to the tourist destination.then,we plan to wear a cap+sunglasses n hold a map,acting like sum tourist n speak sum funny language.wow!i tink thts fun!!!sumtimes we mus do sum extraordinary stuffs to make our life more memorable.dun u tink so???haha..if tis plan is gonna work,we'll be going on the 2nd week of the holidays.hope they're serious bout tis...can't wait!!!!

my dearest grandma

i've been quite emo these days thinking of my grandma..
she's suffering frm cologne cancer recently...though she looks normal n healthy now,but who will understand the pain n sorrow deep inside???
i really cnt believe the fact tht it is already reaches 4th stage..doctors told us tht she'll survive depends on her strength.medicines n surgery is only to prolong.
i was extremely sad when i know tht my grandma{the one who look after me since i was born} had tis sickness..i rmbr sumwhere las month,i drive my mom to visit my grandma,i saw her looks so pale n so weak..my heart hurts,i almost cried but i din,cos if i do,she'll more pain..i know she dowan me to worry of her.when i was in the hospital for almost half an hour,she ask me to go home.she's worry tht i might trap in the jam as i'm still consider new in driving on the road n summore is so far away.but tht doesnt matter to me.i cnt do anything to repay wht she've done 4 me,besides showing her my care n love.though i hate driving,but i do it 4 her.maybe to other ppl,it dun seem a big deal,i know my grandma understands how i feel 4 her though i din show out.i'm not a person who can show my concern to ppl,but i really do care 4 evry2 surround me including my family members n frens.i do appreciate them,though they might forgot who m i...
i'm really afraid tht my grandma will leave us soon.i understand tht evry1 has to go through life n death.but nobody understand how i feel for my grandma.she's the 1 who raise me up when i was born,while my parents din even bother me till 7yrs old.i will nvr forget the time tht i've spent wit my grandma for the 7yrs.though it is a short period compare to the time i'm wit my parents,but i love my grandma more than my parents.of cos i love my parents also lar though at once i hate them 4 bringing me to the cruel world.n i was grown up in a broken family.my grandma taught me not to hate them though they might have done sumthing tht is NOT CORRECT!
i really hope tht miracle will happen n i pray tht all her children will show their love,concern n care to her.i hope they will not be selfish in paying the medical bills...plse do whtever u can to help her n let her be happy for the rest of her life.she's been sacrifice a lot for u guys{the children which means my mom,uncles n aunties}.i've no guts to tell u tis,but plse...GOD!can u help me to send tis message to them???make them wake up n do sumthing...!!!i'm unable to do anything besides praying for her welfare n happiness.

things tht i get frm summit

these r the things i bought frm summit-usj 2day...wow!!!it is a real satisfaction when u can get so many things in a day...surprisingly i can get a pair of shoes cos..cos....huhuh...but i gotta get a leggings n belt to suit my purple shirt...well did u notice the green skirt(ops its a pants actually!!)???damn!!!i kena conned!!!i tot it was a skirt n i take it without havin a second thought...when i get home n try,its a SELUAR!!!ARGH!!!nvmlar.....anyway it cost only rm10..cheap leh???the so call korean shirt oso rm10 only...hahhaha...me only buy cheap cheap stuffs...overall i spent about rm200...oh yeah shall i upload my braS pictures too???i bought sum bras oso..hahha...~sigh~

*okla thts all 4 2day!!!enjoy!!!*

i realise tht blogging wit pictures description is much more fun than only words in a whole paragraph...so sien...but its totally different wit pictures...other ppl can c n feel it too...dun u tink its cool???huahuahua...sotted liao me!!will blog wit more pictures..dun worry!!i try not to post my camwhore pictures ler..mentang2 la i not pretty...later ppl vomit,then tak baik la...

~chiaoz~

x'maszzz pressiesss

*christmas present frm dearest honey{lois}*

*christmas present frm lovely mummy{casyne}*

* christmas present frm lovely daddy{melvyn}*

*christmas present frm cute sis in law {penguin}*

chercher lurveeeee them all.....muaksssss..

millions of kisses for them except mel boy...~muahahhaha~