decided not to be a fool

yeai i decided not to be a fool..
i dunno it will take how long to recover frm the sadness cause????!!!
but at least i put down a burden n i got the answer tht i'm longing for..
2day i go to college wit a very very scared feeling...
when i reach my class,there are johnson,soo n ck in the class..we're talkin bout sum stuff n then ruz came..gosh!!!i really dunno how shud i react..i just act cool n tht stupid soo make funny faces..ok!!i dun care!!
2day b.comm class was canceled..*cool*{just love it!!)
then louie told me tht ruz told him bout i like him..i guess louie was kinda freak out cos i did such a stupid thing..n i was so confuse m i doing the right thing..the whole afternoon my mind was so blur...awww!!!
ok aft tht,we went kfc for lunch..we{me,casyne,azy,syamsul,mel,lois n gdah}went there 1st as louie they all gotta c mr wong..then later adeline came n join us..n later while we eating,louie,ruz n the others came...at 1st ruz was sitting beside me then later he said he gotta get sumthing..i was thinking issit he's tryin to avoid me...then again aft he finish buying his food,he's searching for a seat..obviously beside me there's an empty seat..n he still looking for a seat..then casyne ask him to sit down at the empty place then only he sat down...no longer aft tht,i went out to find adeline..i felt so so so hurt!!!
bec home,i chat wit close frens...i felt better but i wanna cry it out..its like evrything "kuk chu" in my heart..i wanna burst it out through tears...its so painful!!seriously i'm not trying to be dramatic...for u guys there might think its a lame joke but thts how i feel..u can humiliate me wit anything..i dun care anymore!!
anyway i take the courage to ask ruz "r u trying to avoid me??"
i know it sounds pretty stupid but i jus wanna know n i dont want our frenship being ruined..he told me tht he's still the same ruz n we're frens forever..i felt much better n i told him "yeah ntg can affect our frenship"..i know he's truly appreciate our frenship n he ask me not to worry...
huhuhu...finally i get to talk to anh in msn...i was looking for her for the past 1 week..i wanted to tell her evrything cos she alw give gud advise n i will listen to her..its simply because she's older thn me n i can trust her...i felt much better again aft talking to her..her words make me feel so relieved..thanks loads!!!she understand me well too..
final word tht i wanna say is "ruz i love u for wht u r!!!"
i will love him as my inspiration in doing things especially in my studies...i will proove tht i'm as gud as him..it may be pretty tough but i will try...